Lady Allen Poe

Short Story

Art courtesy of NEW WORLD UNDERGROUND

She was my second girlfriend. I made her leave her boyfriend for me. I was in a band. She stood at the front of the crowd and screamed when we played in our hometown. I told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and she left her better-looking boyfriend who looked like Axl Rose. It was one of the earliest instances of me realising that being the singer in a band gave you the keys to the castle, regardless of how good you were at it.

Her house was also a smallholding. Her mother grew vegetables and kept geese and chickens. Her parents were older than average, having borne the girl later. They kept to themselves, and my presence was tolerated rather than actively embraced. They’d begrudgingly make me cheese on toast on the occasions I visited. I could sense their hostility even at that young age. Looking back, they were entirely right.

The house was surrounded by an expanse of fields, some active farmland owned by local farmers, some utterly abandoned and owned by eccentric millionaires. You could walk for hours in every direction and see almost nothing. It made the world feel huge. It made you feel insignificant and alone. The silence was oppressive, broken only by cawing crows and the occasional droning moo of a fucking cow.

The girl, as a result, was impossibly fond of crows. She was an artist and sketched them obsessively, notepads full of studies of their form, their black beady eyes, rounded heads, wings spread with feathers flying off them. She loved Ralph Steadman, the energy and kinetic motion of his work. Her crows grew to be splattered with paint, like they were in the motion of flying off the page. She adored them. They came to embody her entire essence.

One day, feeling adventurous, no doubt influenced by an episode of Dawson’s Creek or something equally as inane, we decided to venture out into the expanse surrounding her house to fuck. I put a condom in my jean pocket, and we bid farewell to her parents, who must’ve known only too well what two teenagers setting forth into infinite empty fields were up to. There were no rivers for miles, no parks, no anything. It was a featureless void.

We walked in silence, not excitement, not giddy anticipation. Through muddy paths, over locked gates, carefully navigating overgrown hedgerows. One field was full of crows, which was the only time the girl showed any emotion, as she rushed towards them and they scattered in a hundred different directions. She laughed and smiled, “My crows!” I nodded and smiled. “Yes.” She could have them as far as I was concerned.

Then, we arrived in the field that was to be the scene. For God only knows what reason, it had a dense patch of trees in the middle of it. This giant field, one of hundreds. Like a hallucinated oasis, it was host to the smallest forest in England. She rushed towards it. “We’re here!” She had known of the field and decided it was the most appropriate one to fuck in. Who was I to argue?

Inside the miniature forest was an abandoned car, beaten up, rotting, like it had been in a thousand car crashes. I didn’t even allow myself to think about how it might have gotten here, into the deep network of forgotten fields. It would have sent me crazy to try and theorise.

She rushed towards the largest tree, turned to lean her back against it, and immediately began undoing her jeans. “Here.” I undid my own also, and felt the blood rushing to my cock immediately. She stood, jeans and knickers at her ankles, and lowered ever so slightly and spread her freckled pale legs, and touched her puffy cunt and smiled. I couldn’t help but laugh, her gentle instruction for me to fuck her.

Once I got to her, I rubbed the head of my penis on her pussy lips, depositing my first drop of pre-cum on the little black carpet above them. Then I pulled back and performatively put on the condom, whilst staring into her eyes. She liked it, and brought her hands up to her mouth to giggle as she watched the latex roll down the full length of my shaft.

“Put it in! Put it in!” she cackled.

I pushed myself towards her and glid inside her with zero resistance. I hardly felt a thing with the stupid condom, but she was pleased to receive me. I pushed the full weight of my body into her and ensured that the full length of me went inside her with each thrust, almost pulling my whole cock out before firmly pushing myself deep up inside her. I made sure she felt the base of my member rub against her, listened as she moaned with each of my calculated waves of motion.

I turned my head to the left and stared at the abandoned car. I thought about how many people might have travelled inside it. Maybe families on trips to amusement parks, cinemas, shopping trips. Daddy driving, Mummy giving bad directions, Brother and Sister fighting in the back, reading comics, dropping toys into the footwell, too far to retrieve with very little arms. Maybe lovers on first dates, young men hung low in their driving seats, windows open, arms hanging over. Young girlfriends in white dresses in the passenger seat, coy with embarrassment. Smoking cigarettes and trying to act more grown up than they actually were. Grandparents driving themselves to hospital appointments to receive bad news about their decaying bodies and failing health. Parking badly in hospital car parks, being shouted and beeped at by other drivers who deemed them too unfit to drive in their old age.

The girl gripped my arm and said, “I’m gonna cum.” I focused my efforts on providing a rhythmic final chapter of this fuck, in and out of her with precision, like I am an industrial piston. She enthusiastically reached climax, and both of our genitalia became drenched with her essence.

“Now you,” she instructed me. I gripped her tightly and arched my back like a dog. I bit into her neck like I was a vampire and she screamed. As her voice echoed out over the desolate field, my penis erupted inside the condom. I was silent throughout the entire act of climax, and once I was done, I just pulled out and shuffled away to take off the condom. There was a thin thread of blood on it, mixed with her vaginal fluid. I tied it off and put it in my back jean pocket.

When we got back to her house, the geese rushed me as I walked through the garden. I ran comically around the garden with them honking and attempting to bite me. They spread their giant wings as they waddled around attempting to attack me. I was genuinely scared of them, but I acted as though I thought the whole thing was just a comedy routine. The girl was in hysterics as she watched me, narrowly evading a nasty goose peck.

This is how I remember her, full of holy joy delivered in the form of birds.