Edging To The Paris Hilton Sex Tape

Novel Extract

Art courtesy of NEW WORLD UNDERGROUND

This is an extract from my upcoming second novella AKRON, which will be releasing on the 20th April 2026.

EDGING TO THE PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE

I’ve been edging to the Paris Hilton sex tape.

I’ve hooked up with a new woman; I think she might be my girlfriend now. She’s older than me and half ethnically Jewish. I’ve wanted to fuck her for ten years, and after a chance encounter on a bus, we’ve started going for coffee dates. We’re also talking about doing some movie nights. I’ve bought Irreversible on DVD, she still watches films on DVD.

As excited as I am about this new relationship, there’s one small problem. I have been celibate, and living an intensely monastic incel lifestyle for a couple of years since my last disastrous attempt at dating.

Although this has allowed me to centre myself and find some peace of mind, it also means I am desperately out of practice at fucking, something I used to pride myself on.

It’s to this end that I have taken to edging, in preparation for the coming act of laying with this elder foid. I do not wish to end the proceedings prematurely, having not felt the touch of a woman for going on three years.

For those of you lucky enough to be uninformed about what edging is, it is the practice of masturbating to the point of climax and then stopping. Meant as a practice in genitalia control, it allows men to control when and how they climax, as if they were playing a video game.

As a fan of somewhat retro pornography, particularly of the amateurish type, I have chosen the iconic Paris Hilton sex tape 1 Night in Paris as the anchor for these edging sessions. I remember it releasing, and people discussing whether or not it was against her will or an elaborate PR stunt. Either way, it was nothing short of a phenomenon on its initial release back in 2004.

The hotel room is dark, with the camera on night vision mode. Only portions of the man and Paris can ever be seen; the footage is shot handheld and shakes constantly. The man moans as he rhythmically thrusts inside Paris. The only part of him visible is his good-sized cock, flashing in and out of her cunt. She fingers herself confidently as the cock drives back and forth; the camera occasionally shifts up and shows her soft, perfect belly. The contours of it are exaggerated by the night vision.

I feel myself approaching climax, so I stop masturbating and instead just watch. My heart aches a tiny bit as I realise I have to stop. There’s a moment of sorrow deep down inside me somewhere, that I’m not able to ejaculate all over the desk, ruin my expensive gaming keyboard, splatter the screen with my cum.

Occasionally, the camera pans up past her modest-sized tits and shows her face. The blackness of her eyes is deepened by the night vision. She only ever glances at the camera and then looks away again, almost like she isn’t paying it any attention. Her phone lies next to her head, featureless and black.

In between rubbing her cunt, she grips the insides of her thighs or brings her hands up to cup her own tits. A TV can be heard in the background, where a female news anchor relays some ancient news story from 2004. The guy says some cheesy line about his cock, and Paris immediately looks completely disinterested. I wonder to myself whether that’s because she doesn’t like it or because she’s thinking about how this is supposed to be a “leaked” sex tape rather than a co-ordinated one. Either way, the guy sounds like a tool. He needs to shut up. If I were fucking Paris Hilton, I’d be silent. I’d be concentrating on giving the best performance of my life. I’d also be reading her feedback, her looks away, her moans, I’d want to know if they were real or not. I’d be obsessed with making her orgasm, at least once.

I decide enough time has passed, and I resume my slow masturbating.

The scene has changed now, a tripod at the end of the bed instead of the camera being handheld. Paris goes to ride the guy in cowgirl position but is distracted by an alarm on her phone. They end up doing doggie and then prone. The guy was built for 2004, but his physique would be mocked by modern-day standards. It looks like he has blonde hair. I wonder if he is still alive.

This part bores me, so I skip ahead.

The next part isn’t in night vision. Paris poses in front of the camera and says “Eww” to everything the guy says, which is the right reaction because he is saying gross and unsexy shit. She looks amazing, the archetypal 2004 girl. Black lace low-rise briefs, a black lace bra. Tiny blonde pigtails, a pierced belly button. Her cunt is shaved, and she’s wearing a small amount of makeup just to accentuate her natural beauty. I slept with so many girls who looked like this in the noughties. It was great.

There’s a way-too-long scene of this absolute mamzer eating her out. I skip through it disapprovingly. Then we get another tripod scene of her in the prone position, shoulders hunched. Then she is naked, lying on the bed smiling. Her lip gloss makes her look like an angel; the white sheets of the bed make her skin look perfectly tanned.

I stop at the iconic blowjob scene, where she performs the type of blowjob every one of us wanted in 2004, and still want today. Starting and stopping, then staring at the man and smiling. Up and down, showing her perfect perky little tits. At points, as she climbs up the man to kiss him, we are treated to her ass in a green thong. Then she falls back down to business, hair tied back, licking and sucking the shaft of his cock, jerking the full length of it with her hands, laughing in between sucking.

She stares at him lazily as he slowly jerks off into her mouth. Then he controls the rhythm of her sucking with his hand. He holds the back of her head, and she tells him to stop. They laugh together, and she flashes smiles constantly.

The last words she says before the end are “Show me.” Then, as she speeds up her sucking, the guy says “Oh my God,” which, combined with the tensed muscles, lets Paris know that he is about to cum. She stops sucking and places his cock on her chest, and he erupts cum onto her little tits. She looks at him knowingly.

If Paris had been sucking my cock, there’s no way on earth I would have let her not swallow my load. I would have held her hair tightly, and I would have made sure that my cock was in her mouth when I blew my load, and that she swallowed every single drop of it. Then I would have waited in silence until she said, “Thank you.”

I look at the clock, and it’s getting close to the time I need to meet my new girlfriend. I zip up my trousers and close down the computer. As I close my apartment door behind me, I feel like a God. And I start to wonder what my girlfriend will be wearing when I get to hers.

My first novella, LIBERTINE DISSOLVES, is available to buy here.